More to come - do you have some to add? E-mail princess041104@gmail.com.
Season 1
"Well if I didn't just serve up toe jam on an idiot cracker" - Roxy
"No need for tears ladies. Got it at the Goodwill" - Roxy
"Looks like I got here just in time for the eight o'clock show" - Pamela
"He hits you once, hit him back. He hits you a second time, shoot him in the balls." - Roxy
"Ok, the mens room, is downright boring" - Roland
Roland: Did you know that gossip because it enhances our human understanding was once considered a virtue?
Roxy: Enhances our understanding? What are you, a shrink?
Roland: I am. Nice call.
Joan: They had me fill out a post-deployment checklist
Michael: We call those those the "don't tell your spouse questionnaire." They started after Desert Storm.
Joan: Can I ask you something?
Michael: You bet
Joan: How long before everything feels normal again?
Michael: It never does. Not really.
"It's me from last night in the restroom. Thong." - Roxy
"Although I don't wasn't your daughter to miss a single go, fight, win" - Roxy
"And I was wondering if you can tell me who I have to, who I have to get busy with around here to see a doctor" - Roxy
"Joyce, would you please allow Mrs LeBlanc & her son to take our place" - Claudia Joy
"I'm sorry. I'm all out of Percocet. But I've got some Vicodin in the truck." - Pamela
"What the hell Marilyn? We made brownies all year together for the PTA. Does seducing the chaplain sound like something I would do?" - Pamela
Frank: Alright, you're the man of the house while I'm gone
Jeremy: Dad, I've been the man of the house since I was 7
[while exchanging letters as Frank leaves]
Frank: I get teased about these you know?
Denise: I know
Frank: But it all stopped when I read one out loud and all the soldiers want love notes from their wives
Chase: And it's ours because why?
Katie & Lucas: Cuz Daddy's in Delta Force
"Hey, hey, hey! Two words, e-nough!" - Roxy
"I don't wear white gloves & I don't take tea. I'm never gonna fit in here Trevor." - Roxy
Roxy: I think I belong behind the bar
Army Wife: Oh, you can't work in a Jody bar. No soldier's gonna go for that. How are you gonna keep a marriage?
Roxy: I keep it just fine. I'm kind of a fanatic about it.
Roxy: I'd like an application
Betty: What's a big hit hooter?
Roxy: Do you mind? Big hot hooter. One ounce tequila, three-fourths ounce amaretto. Full it up with pineapple juice, top it off with grenadine. And every hooter needs a nipple, so, of course, don't forget your cherry on top. Big hot hooter.
Denise: Jeremy, why do you keep doing this?
Jeremy: I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
Denise: If your father knew what you were doing...
Jeremy: Yeah, but you know what? You're not gonna tell him. Because that would just ruin your image of being the perfect little wife & mother.
"And you're a bar tender in a Jody bar." - Roland
Joan: What I did over there. If you knew, you wouldn't love me.
Roland: I don't care what you did. It doesn't matter to me. I know who you are.
"You're such a good sport to show up at these "wives only" tea parties" - Claudia Joy (to Roland)
"Somebody better be missing their balls" - Roxy
"You're sitting next to the Antichrist. You're going to hell by association." - Pamela
"It looks like we got more women getting into my car" - Roland
"I can't have these babies in the back seat of a car. I am not 15 and working at a Dairy Queen." - Pamela
Pamela: In a bar? I'm giving birth in a bar?
Roxy: It's better than a Dairy Queen, baby.
"This is not how I imagined this day" - Pamela
"Vodka & a hammer! I need vodka & a hammer!" - Pamela
Pamela: You having a good time?
Roland: Let's just say childbirth is as disgusting as it is miraculous.
[The women look at Roland after the first baby is delivered]
Roland: It wasn't me
Roxy: We all have our secrets
Claudia Joy: Yes, we do
"No need for tears ladies. Got it at the Goodwill" - Roxy
"Looks like I got here just in time for the eight o'clock show" - Pamela
"He hits you once, hit him back. He hits you a second time, shoot him in the balls." - Roxy
"Ok, the mens room, is downright boring" - Roland
Roland: Did you know that gossip because it enhances our human understanding was once considered a virtue?
Roxy: Enhances our understanding? What are you, a shrink?
Roland: I am. Nice call.
Joan: They had me fill out a post-deployment checklist
Michael: We call those those the "don't tell your spouse questionnaire." They started after Desert Storm.
Joan: Can I ask you something?
Michael: You bet
Joan: How long before everything feels normal again?
Michael: It never does. Not really.
"It's me from last night in the restroom. Thong." - Roxy
"Although I don't wasn't your daughter to miss a single go, fight, win" - Roxy
"And I was wondering if you can tell me who I have to, who I have to get busy with around here to see a doctor" - Roxy
"Joyce, would you please allow Mrs LeBlanc & her son to take our place" - Claudia Joy
"I'm sorry. I'm all out of Percocet. But I've got some Vicodin in the truck." - Pamela
"What the hell Marilyn? We made brownies all year together for the PTA. Does seducing the chaplain sound like something I would do?" - Pamela
Frank: Alright, you're the man of the house while I'm gone
Jeremy: Dad, I've been the man of the house since I was 7
[while exchanging letters as Frank leaves]
Frank: I get teased about these you know?
Denise: I know
Frank: But it all stopped when I read one out loud and all the soldiers want love notes from their wives
Chase: And it's ours because why?
Katie & Lucas: Cuz Daddy's in Delta Force
"Hey, hey, hey! Two words, e-nough!" - Roxy
"I don't wear white gloves & I don't take tea. I'm never gonna fit in here Trevor." - Roxy
Roxy: I think I belong behind the bar
Army Wife: Oh, you can't work in a Jody bar. No soldier's gonna go for that. How are you gonna keep a marriage?
Roxy: I keep it just fine. I'm kind of a fanatic about it.
Roxy: I'd like an application
Betty: What's a big hit hooter?
Roxy: Do you mind? Big hot hooter. One ounce tequila, three-fourths ounce amaretto. Full it up with pineapple juice, top it off with grenadine. And every hooter needs a nipple, so, of course, don't forget your cherry on top. Big hot hooter.
Denise: Jeremy, why do you keep doing this?
Jeremy: I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
Denise: If your father knew what you were doing...
Jeremy: Yeah, but you know what? You're not gonna tell him. Because that would just ruin your image of being the perfect little wife & mother.
"And you're a bar tender in a Jody bar." - Roland
Joan: What I did over there. If you knew, you wouldn't love me.
Roland: I don't care what you did. It doesn't matter to me. I know who you are.
"You're such a good sport to show up at these "wives only" tea parties" - Claudia Joy (to Roland)
"Somebody better be missing their balls" - Roxy
"You're sitting next to the Antichrist. You're going to hell by association." - Pamela
"It looks like we got more women getting into my car" - Roland
"I can't have these babies in the back seat of a car. I am not 15 and working at a Dairy Queen." - Pamela
Pamela: In a bar? I'm giving birth in a bar?
Roxy: It's better than a Dairy Queen, baby.
"This is not how I imagined this day" - Pamela
"Vodka & a hammer! I need vodka & a hammer!" - Pamela
Pamela: You having a good time?
Roland: Let's just say childbirth is as disgusting as it is miraculous.
[The women look at Roland after the first baby is delivered]
Roland: It wasn't me
Roxy: We all have our secrets
Claudia Joy: Yes, we do
