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Michael: [V.O.] A great way to get people talking about their security is to put them on the defensive. Accuse a guy of having bad locks and before you know it he's telling you where his motion detectors are.
Michael: [V.O.] When you're claiming to be someone you're not, the key is commitment. You've got to sell it like your life depends on it, because sometimes it does. One reason to work with the same people is you know each other's moves, so if you shoot at your team in the middle of an operation, they know to go with it.
Michael: Seems the people who burned me want me for a job. For now, that's all I got.
Sam Axe: A job? Does it pay?
Michael Westen: More of a "we'll kill you if you don't do it" type of thing.
Sam Axe: Ah. Never liked those.
Michael: [V.O.] When you work as a spy, it's easy to think of people as assets. Resources to accomplish a goal. Because you don't have a personal relationship with an asset. You don't care about an asset. You don't miss the scent of an asset when she leaves the room.
Michael Westen: [V.O.] If you wanna make a friend, solve a problem for them. No problem to solve? Create one.
Michael: That stalker happens to have a MAC-10 in his jacket! Oh— you knew, didn't you?!
Sam Axe: Mike, look, I did a little pre-scouting; I knew he was packing, but I didn't know he had a MAC-10. I thought it was, like... a regular gun.
Michael: [V.O.] Most people think distracting a group of guys is best done by a beautiful woman. The problem with beautiful women is people want them to stick around, which can cause a lot of problems. Obnoxious guys, they just want to get rid of.
Michael: Fi, get me a sniper rifle and some C4.
Fiona Glenanne: Oh, I like where this is going.
Michael: Mom, I gotta get to work, actually. Uh, what is it you need?
Madeline Westen: Well, I can't find my salad spinner.
Michael: That is tragic.
Fiona Glenanne: Zeke is one careful con-man. He's security conscious, he's smart... smooth, too, in a cheesy, Sam kind of way.
Sam Axe: Hey, smooth is smooth, baby.
Waseem: [quoting from Michael's note] "I will be wearing a white shirt and..." [laughs] This word right here? It is a kind of... spicy goat cheese.
Michael: I was trying to say "black pants". My Urdu's a little rusty.
Waseem: At least you got the name of the restaurant right.
Michael: [V.O.] To win a negotiation you have to show you're willing to walk away. And the best way to show you're willing to walk away... is to walk away.
Michael Weston: [V.O.] Get your hands on any classified document worth having, chances are it's going to be redacted, which makes reading it a lot like watching a movie on an airplane: all the juicy parts are missing but you still get the basic idea.
Michael: [V.O.] One of the hardest things to do in a fight is to make it look like you're trying to kill someone without doing any permanent damage. They don't teach any half-moves in combat training. There are moves designed to kill and maim as efficiently as possible. If those are off limits, one option is open your fist right before a punch lands. Painful, but the force is distributed. Another showy option is a kick to the shoulder. You might break a rib or two; but if you aim right, nobody is going to the morgue.
Michael: [V.O.] A fight is one of the quickest ways to tell if someone isn't who they say they are. If you say you are Russian but fight like an American, consider your cover blown, which means you better know Sambo the mixed martial art of Russia. Of course, you also have to win the fight; a great cover ID doesn't help much if you're dead.
[To escape detection by a security guard, Michael clings to the edge of a rooftop]
Michael: [V.O.] Making yourself invisible when you need to is a crucial skill for a covert operative; it sounds exotic but it's not like there's a super-secret move they teach you at spy school that allows you to vanish into thin air. Often it's just a matter of quick thinking, fast feet, and strong fingers.
Michael: [V.O.] Tailing a trained operative requires a number of time consuming preparations: everything from acquiring a vehicle they can't recognize or trace to familiarizing yourself with all the local traffic patterns. Of course, since you can never be sure who's a trained op, there's always the chance you'll take all those precautions just to follow a secretary back to her cubicle.
Michael: [V.O.] When you work in intelligence, there's no bigger slap in the face than a picture of yourself in the middle of an operation. It's send a clear message: we're one step ahead of you; we're in control; we own you. Mylar balloons and a bottle of champagne, that's just twisting the knife.
Michael Weston: [V.O.] The interior locks in an office suite are usually low-end; just there to keep white-collar workers from stealing coffee cups. File cabinet locking bars, on the other hand, are a more serious security measure. Their main vulnerability is that they depend on people's faith in padlocks. People have too much faith in padlocks.
Madeline Westen: Uh, Sam, didn't you forget something? [Madeline hands him a number of bullets] I found them in your pants. I heard them rattling around in the washing machine when I was doing your laundry.
Sam: Yeah, 9 mm. Uh, hey, err, I don't know what to say.
Michael: I'd say nothing. Nothing's good. Go with nothing.
Michael: [V.O.] Sometimes, when you meet a new operative, it's a good idea to open with an aggressive move. You learn about people when you make them play defense: their reflexes, weaknesses, how they handle themselves under pressure. And even if they are able to counter, it never hurts to know how far they're willing to go.
Michael: [V.O.] When meeting a covert operative for the first time, the arrangements can tell you a lot: if they give you a map and a photo, they trust you; a place and a time, they want to check you out before they make contact; a cryptic clue like "tidy pelican", they've just got an irritating sense of humor.
Michael: [V.O.] Dealing with a trained operative is like playing chess with a master. Dealing with criminals, on the other hand, is like playing checkers with a three-year-old: they like to change the rules.
[Sam and Virgil, Michael's houseguest, are talking to Michael on the phone.]
Virgil: Listen, I didn't pack enough underwear, so I borrowed a set of your boxers: the blue ones with the stripes.
Michael: [visibly horrified] They will never fit you; stay out of my closet.
Virgil: They're a little snug down under, but I got all packed in. 'Preciate it.
Sam Axe: Mike, be glad you didn't have to see that.
[Michael stops a soccer ball headed in his direction.]
Boy: Kick it! Kick it!
[Michael kicks the ball towards the boy.]
Marcela: Hey, no ball on the sidewalk.
Michael: He started it.
Therapist: And that's why I like to say that trust is a bridge, and it needs a strong foundation, and you can't build a bridge out of pain and fear, can you? [He nudges Michael awake.] Can you, Michael?
Michael: [sleepily] Uh, no, because that would make it, um, structurally unsound.
Michael: [V.O.] Spend a career in covert ops and you're going to know some bad people. You'll work with them, you'll live with them, you might even trust your life with them. But none of that makes them your friend. It can't. Because one day, you might have to end them.
Michael: [V.O.] Spies make great neighbors; they're polite, they keep the lawn trim, and they never crank up the music at night. They don't stand out, because they don't want to be found. So if you're hunting for a covert operative and all you've got to go on are the names of a few dozen suspects, you're out of luck... unless you know where to look.
Michael: [V.O.] Surveillance is the leading cause of weight gain among operatives.
Michael: There's an art to drinking without getting drunk. Start with a lot of ice to dilute the alcohol; order a new round before you're done so your half-full drink gets taken away, and of course, spill.
Michael: Most people think snipers like to shoot from ledges. Fact is, the best sniper position is inside a room through an open window: it hides the shooter, masks the report of the supersonic round, and makes the muzzle flash impossible to see.
Michael: [as "Johnny" while Fiona empties a bottle of vodka onto a bar] Miami...it's humid. Plus...your place is on fire. [Fiona lights the vodka]
Fiona: If we looked for everyone who tried to kill you, we'd do nothing else.
Michael: Now, I just need help tracking someone down, Seymour. That's it.
Seymour: You are such a badass. It's kind of awesome. You need my help? Okay. One condition.You got to teach me some of these moves.
Michael: Sure.
Seymour: Don't argue with destiny. It will kick your ass.
Madeline Westen: Michael, what are you doing?
Michael Westen: [Removing a file folder from the stove] I left something in here.
Madeline Westen: You just assumed I was never gonna broil anything?
Michael Westen: Well, I've been right so far.
Michael: I left her because, you don't marry someone when you love somebody else.
Fiona: [having just shot and killed Carla] Finally.
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