Meredith: [voiceover] In the OR, time loses all meaning. In the midst of sutures, and saving lives... the clock ceases to matter. 15 minutes... 15 hours — inside the OR, the best surgeons make time fly. Outside the OR, however, time takes pleasure in kicking our asses. For even the strongest of us it seems to play tricks. Slowing down... hovering... until it freezes. Leaving us stuck in a moment — unable to move in one direction or the other.
MG: [pause, glances around] Why
are you all looking at me?
CY: Well, this is familiar territory for you.
MG: There is nothing familiar abut this! Unfamiliar! Denny died. The man she loves, died.
CY: Yeah, but you're all dark and twisty inside.
MG: I am not dark
and twisty!
CY: What, with the Alzheimers thing and the
father you don't talk to.
AK: And the tequila
thing and the inappropriate men thing.
GO: You are dark and twisty inside, Meredith, and now Izzie
is dark and twisty inside.
MG: So all of a sudden I'm the president of people with
crappy lives?
"I feel like I'm moving in slow motion. Like I'm moving in slow motion and everything around me is moving so fast and I just wanna go back to when things were normal. When I wasn't "Poor Izzie" laying on the bathroom floor in her prom dress with her- her dead fiance. But I am. So I can't. And I'm- I'm just stuck. And there is all this pressure cause everyone is hovering around me waiting for me to do something. Or say something, or flip out, or yell and cry some more and I'm happy to play my part. I'm happy to say the lines and do whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing if it will make everyone feel more comfortable. But I don't- I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be this person. I don't- I don't know who this person is." - IS
"I’m in love with you.
I’ve been in love you with you forever. I’m a little late- I know I’m a little
late in telling you that. I just, I just want you take your time. Take all the
time you need because you have a choice to make. And when I had a choice to
make…I chose wrong." - DS
Meredith: [voiceover] Time
flies. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is
more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time.
Meredith: [voiceover] At
any given moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of
450 miles per hour. We don’t have control over most of them. When we get a
chill...goose bumps. When we get excited...adrenaline. The body naturally
follows its impulses, which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to
control ours. Of course, sometimes we have impulses we would rather not
control, that we later wish we had.
CY: Benjamin O'Leary, 32, in for
the removal of a brain tumor that's pressing on his temporal frontal lobe.
Clearly it's affecting his impulse control.
Benjamin: It makes me say
everything I think. Which apparently is annoying. This doctor looks annoyed
anyway. Although it's hard to tell cause she always has a pinched uptight look
on her face. Am I annoying you?
CY: It's fine.
Ruthie: You can't say it's fine. He
doesn't preceive sarcasm or irony. If he's annoying you, you have to tell him.
Benjamin: Maybe I'm not annoying
her Ruthie.
CY: No, you are.
MB: Doctor Yang!
CY: He asked!
DS: Okay Benjamin, Doctor Yang, as
pinched and annoyed as she might be, is going to prep you for surgery today. Do
you have any questions for me?
Benjamin: [about Meredith] Is that blonde your girlfriend?
'Cause the way you keep looking at her, you might as well just mount her right
here, right now. [Derek and the interns are trying not to
laugh.] I'm sorry was I rude?
MB: Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd is out sick today, so you can
either cover the pit, or you can...you can tell me whose damn panties are on
the bulletin board!
[everybody in the
background starts snickering]
CY: [whispers to Meredith] Is
it yours?
MB: This is a hospital. People, serious work happens here.
We save lives! [interns laugh] Oh, something
funny? Whose're these?
MG: This is bad. This isn't good.
CY: You better claim them. She thinks they're mine!
MB: Yeah I know it's one of you. It's always one of mine. Always. So, tell me. Which one
of you left your damn drawers on my surgical floor?
Meredith: [voiceover] The
body is a slave to its impulses. But the thing that makes us human is what we
can control. After the storm, after the rush, after the heat of the moment has
passed, we can cool off and clean up the messes we made. We can try to let go
of what was. Then again...
Meredith: [voiceover] Surgeons
usually fantasize about wild and improbable surgeries. Someone collapses in a restaurant,
you splice them open with a butter knife, replace a valve with a hollowed out
stick of carrot— but every now and then some other kind of fantasy slips in.
Most of our fantasies resolve when we wake, vanished to the back of our mind,
but sometimes we're sure if we try hard enough— we can live the dream.
Meredith: [voiceover] The
fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good, and twice as much pleasure is better. That
pain is bad, and no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality
is that pain is there to tell us something, and there's only so much pleasure
we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that's okay. Maybe some
fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams.
Meredith: [voiceover] At
some point during surgical residency, most interns get a sense of who they are
as doctors and the kinds of surgeons they want to become. If you ask them,
they'll tell you they want to be general surgeons, orthopedic surgeons,
neurosurgeons. Distinctions which do more than describe their area of
expertise, they define who they are, because outside the operating room, not
only do most surgeons have no idea who they are, they're also afraid to find
out.
CY: So, who's the father?
MG: I’m not pregnant.
CY: I didn’t know I was pregnant when I was pregnant
either. But the abdominal pain, fever and the nonstop vomiting?
MG: I’m not pregnant.
CY: You don’t know who the father is, do you?
MG: It would have to be Derek’s, there’s no way it could be
Finn’s.
CY: You haven’t had sex with the vet yet? You gotta get out
of that relationship immediately.
MG: I can’t be pregnant, can I?
CY: Aww, a McBaby!
MG: Was I this mean to you when you were pregnant?
MG: [to
George] When I'm on the table, keep me draped. Too many people
have seen me naked already. I'd like to keep whatever dignity I have
left. [sees Mark] It's McSteamy. McSteamy! Yoo hoo!
MS: McSteamy? That's what your
calling me now?
MG: Yes, but I don't think you are
supposed to know.
MS: How's my favorite dirty
mistress?
MG: Haven't you heard? Now I'm an
adulterous whore!
Denny: [voiceover] Dad, mom...It's me. I'm calling from
Seattle Grace Hospital where the - the beautiful, talented and incredibly
stubborn Dr. Isobel Stevens has, she's just given me a brand new heart and
promised to marry me. I know we've had our differences and I'm sorry we've been
out of touch. Believe it or not I was - I was trying to make everything better.
I know you're angry and I hope you'll forgive me. It turns out, sometimes you
have to do the wrong thing. Sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure
out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful, but they're the only way to
find out who you really are. I know who I am now. I know what I want. I've got
the love of my life, a new heart and I want you guys to get on the next plane
out here and meet my girl. Everything's gonna be different now, I promise. From
here on out, nothings ever going to be the same. I love you, bye.
Meredith: [voiceover] First, do no harm. As doctors, we
pledge to live by this oath. But harm happens and then guilt happens. And there
is no oath for how to deal with that. Guilt never goes anywhere on its own, it
brings its friends - doubt and insecurity.
MS: She told you. I've known you my
whole life, I grew up with you so I know what you're thinking. That there is a
year of your life wasted. Trying to make it work with Addison and you could
have been with Meredith. That you could be happy right now. That all this,
everything. That you and Meredith could have had a real chance. Still, I
thought you should know the truth. Thought I owed you that, as a friend.
DS: You're not my friend.
Meredith: [voiceover] First do no harm, easier said than
done. We can take all the oaths in the world, but the fact is, most of us do
harm all the time. Sometimes even when we're trying to help, we do more harm
than good. And then the guilt rears its ugly head. What you do with that guilt
is up to you. We're left with a choice. Either let the guilt throw you back
into the behavior that got you into trouble in the first place, or learn from
the guilt and do your best to move on.
Meredith: [voiceover] To make it - really make it - as a surgeon - it takes
major commitment. We have to be willing to pick up that scalpel and make a cut
that may or may not do more damage than good. It's all about being committed,
because if we're not we have no business picking up that scalpel in the first
place.
Nancy: What are you doing here, Mark? Are you trying to
torture him?
MS: He's my family, Nancy. Plus I needed a change of pace.
[Nancy gives him an unconvinced
look]
MS: Plus I slept with my tennis partner's wife and he went
out and bought a gun.
Nancy: There it is.
"I'm out of my element
here, I break bones for a living, I used to live in the basement, most days I
wear last night's eyeliner to work, and I don't give a crap about what other
people think of me. Because I am a happily independent and successful woman and
I like it that way, only when you say stuff like this, it just makes things too
hard. So please, don't chase me anymore, unless you're ready to catch me."
- CT
Meredith: [voiceover] There
are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment, and we may be
surprised at the commitments we're willing to let slip out of our grasp.
Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we're
willing to make. True commitment, takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why
sometimes, we have to learn the hard way, to choose our commitments very
carefully.
Meredith: [voiceover] As
surgeons, we are trained to look for disease. Sometimes the problem is easily
detected, most of the time we need to go step by step. First, probing the
surface looking for any sign of trouble. Most of the time, we can't tell what's
wrong with somebody by just looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly
fine on the outside, while their insides tell a whole other story.
MG: Derek's camping. Taking time.
Getting space.
CY: Prestons do not go into the
woods. A guy named Preston is gonna get his ass kicked by a squirrel.
IS: It's basically a slumber party, they do it
outside, we do it inside. It's really the only difference.
MG: Okay, before you start, there
are rules to this friendship thing or whatever.
MS: The Dirty Mistresses Club has
rules? Gosh, I thought a bunch of dirty mistresses would be a little less
uptight about these uh, rules.
MG: Number one, no flirting.
Second, no talking about Derek and C, no giving me the face.
MS: The face?
MG: The McSteamy face. Doesn't work
on me. I'm immune.
MS: You know, if I'd gone off to
the woods, I would've invited you to keep me warm.
MG: Breaking rules 1, 2 and 3.
CY: And that makes you smart?
Eric: You're fishing through my poop. How smart are you?
Meredith: [voiceover] Not
all wounds are superficial. Most wounds run deeper than you can imagine. You
can't see them with the naked eye. And then there are the wounds that take us
by surprise. The trick with any kind of wound or disease is to dig down and
find the real source of the pain - and once you've found it, try like hell to
heal that sucker.
Meredith: [voiceover] Many
people don't know that the human eye has a blind spot in its field of vision.
There is a part of the world that we are literally blind to. The problem is,
sometimes our blind spots shield us from things that really shouldn't be
ignored. Sometimes our blind spots keep our lives bright and shiny.
"Today is the day people, today is the day when dark
and twisty Meredith disappears forever, and Bright and Shiny Meredith takes her
place! You're probably not gonna want to be friends with me anymore, because
the sheer intensity of my happiness will make your teeth hurt, but that's OK,
because life is good. Life is good." - MG
MS: There you are! What, did you go
all the way to New York for my pastrami?
AK: Extra spicy, extra lettuce,
light on the mayo.
AM: Mark, what are you doing?
MS: Lunch. Want my pickle?
AM: Seattle Grace is a teaching
hospital, part of your job is to teach, your interns aren't your slaves.
MS: Fine, no pickle for you!
Meredith: [voiceover] When it comes to our blind spots,
maybe our brains aren't compensating. Maybe they're protecting us.
Cristina: [voiceover] As doctors, we know everybody's
secrets. Their medical histories. Sexual histories. Confidential information
that is as essential to a surgeon as a ten-blade, and every bit as dangerous.
We keep secrets, we have to, but not all secrets can be kept.
Cristina: [voiceover] In some ways, betrayal is inevitable.
When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray
each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to
rebuild the trust that was lost. And then there are some wounds, some
betrayals…that are so deep, so profound that there is no way to repair what was
lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait.
EH: You remind me of myself when I was an intern.
CY: I do?
EH: Focused, intense, cold, and I
don't mean that as a bad thing, cold is good. The dating, the friends and the
family, if you ask me, it's all overrated.
Meredith: [voiceover] At the end of the day, when it comes
down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where
we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually
a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once
we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we
hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are
the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But
sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.
MG: Oh, you have got to be kidding me? Where's George?
DS: [groggily] Spent
the night at the hospital.
MG: And you slept in his bed! All night?
DS: No, right after you fell asleep.
MG: So you're telling me that my snoring is so bad, how did
you deal with it for all those nights before I found out about your wife?
IS: [walks past] He
usually sleeps on the couch, sets an alarm and gets back in bed before you wake
up.
DS: Yeah, didn't want to hurt your feelings.
MG: [smacks Derek with a pillow] Oh,
I'm going to do more than hurt your feelings.
---[later in the
episode]---
MG: I'm a girl with abandonment issues. You have to
sleep with me from now on.
MG: [to Cristina] You
are in a relationship with no words. [to Izzie] You're a
millionare in twenty dollar shoes.
CY: There’s a club. The Dead Dads
Club. And you can’t be in it until you’re in it. You can try and understand.
You can sympathize but until you feel that loss. My dad died when I was 9.
George, I’m really sorry you had to join the club.
GO: I…I don’t know how to exist in a world where
my dad doesn’t.
CY: Yeah. That never really
changes.
MS: If you'd had the baby, we'd be
together in New York right now; it wouldn't be raining and even if it was, we
wouldn't care because we'd be together. We'd be together. And I'd have a family
instead of walking pneumonia and an ex-best friend who hates me.
AM: You didn't want
to raise a child, Mark. You just wanted to trump Derek, you wanted to to win.
MS: Don't make this my fault. You
didn't want a baby.
AM: No, I did want a baby, Mark! The last woman you slept
with before I left New York, Charlene, the peds nurse, did you think that she
was the only one that I knew about? You're rewriting history Mark. We wouldn't
still be together. We weren't a great couple and you would have made a terrible
father, Mark. I did want a baby, I did. I just...I just didn't want one with
you.
Meredith: [voiceover] No one believes that their life will
turn out just kind of okay. We all think we are going to be great. And from the
day we decide to be surgeons, we are filled with expectation. Expectations of
the trails we will blaze, the people we will help, the difference we will make.
Great expectations of who we will be, where we will go. And then we get there.
Meredith: [voiceover] We
all think we’re going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our
expectations aren’t met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short.
Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to
wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what
keeps us steady. Standing. Still. The expected's just the beginning, the
unexpected is what changes our lives.
Meredith: [voiceover] As
surgeons, we live in a world of worse case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from
hoping for the best because too many times the best doesn’t happen. But every
now and then something extraordinary occurs and suddenly best case scenarios
seem possible. And every now and then something amazing happens, and against
our better judgment we start to have hope.
IS: [on Callie's wedding ring] Oh, that's so great. Tiny diamonds are great
because you know no one will ever try to steal it.
MG: I'm not sure refusing treatment is what you wanna do-
EG: Apparently, what I want doesn't matter! It isn't even
legally binding! So it's really about what you want,
Meredith. You're in charge!
MG: You think that I like making these decisions for you?
You think it's fun to get calls from the nursing home asking whether I was
planning on giving the nurse, who changes you every morning a Christmas tip?
But I do it. Because you have managed to alienate everybody else in your life
and I am the only one, so I have to step up and do it. [voice wavering] You wanna know why I'm so
unfocused? So ordinary? You wanna know what happened to me? You! You happened
to me!
EG: Then let me refuse the heart surgery.
MG: No!
EG: Why not?!
MG: Because killing my mother is not gonna be another thing
that happens to me.
Meredith: [voiceover] As
doctors, we're trained to give our patients just the facts. But what our
patients really want to know is- will the pain go away? Will I feel better? Am
I cured? What our patients really want to know is- is there hope? But,
inevitably, there are times when you find yourself in the worst case scenario.
When the patient's body has betrayed them and all the science we have to offer
has failed them. When the worst case scenario comes true, and clinging to hope
is all we've got left.
Meredith: [voiceover] Disappearances
happen in science. Disease can suddenly fade away, tumors go missing, and we
open someone up to discover the cancer is gone. Its unexplained It’s rare, but
it happens. We call it mis-diagnosis say we never saw it in the first place,
any explanation but the truth. That life is full of vanishing acts. If
something that we didn’t know we had disappears, do we miss it?
MG: I'm a surgeon. I do the
rescuing. You are not my knight in shining whatever.
DS: So we're gonna fight because I
pulled you out of the tub.
MG: You have a place. You could sleep at it. And
then you don't have to pull me out of the bathtub. You're everywhere, all the
time, saying things.
DS: This is the happy ever after part. And in the
happily ever after, the guy is there all the time, saying things and the girls
love it!
MG: Go to work, I'll see you there.
DS: And just for the record? I am your knight in shining whatever.
[Addison chastises Mark, Preston and Derek for
commenting on Richard's new hair color]
AM: He is alone! All alone! Do any
of you even know what that's like? [motions to Preston] Lives
with Cristina, [looks Derek up and down] dates
the perfect twelve year old, [looks at Mark] Manwhore!
His wife left him! After twenty-five years of marriage! So if the man wants to
dye his hair for the ladies, let him dye his hair for the ladies! Leave him be.
Meredith: [voiceover] Like I said, disappearances happen.
Pains go phantom. Blood stops running and people, people fade away. There's
more I have to say, so much more, but... I've disappeared.
MB: What do we got?
Paramedic: Jane Doe. She's
hypothermic and dropping.
DS: She's not a Jane Doe. It's
Meredith Grey. It's Meredith.
MB: Derek! Derek! How long has she
been down?
DS: I don't know. She's alive.
She's alive.
"I know people die. People die in front of us
everyday, but I believe Meredith will survive this. I believe, I believe, I...I
believe in the good. I believe that it's been a hell of a year and I believe
that in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary we will all be okay.
I believe a lot of things. I believe that...I believe that Denny is always with
me. And I believe that if I eat a tub of butter and no one sees me the calories
don't count. And I believe that surgeons who prefer staples over stitches are
just lazy. I believe that you are a man that made a terrible mistake marrying
Callie and I believe that because I'm your best friend I can tell you this and
we can be okay. I believe that even though you made this mistake you will be
okay. I believe we survive, George. I believe that believing we survive is what
makes us survive." - IS
Meredith: [voiceover] There are medical miracles. Being
worshippers of the altar of science, we don't like to believe miracles exist.
But they do. Things happen. We can't explain them, we can't control them, but
they do happen. Miracles do happen in medicine. They happen everyday, just not
always when we need them to happen.
Denny: Meredith. [to
Dylan] She's freaking out.
Dylan: She's not freaking out.
Denny: People tend to freak out.
Dylan: Trust me, she's fine.
Denny: Oh, okay Mr.
I've-been-dead-longer-and-knows-everything.
Dylan: You know what? That's why I
don't like to be here with you. Because you don't assess the situation, you
just dive right in.
Denny: Oh, I'm not the one who got
himself all blown up.
Dylan: [gets in Denny's
face] Alright, you wanna do this now or you wanna do this later?
Denny: [gets in Dylan's
face] Oh, I wanna do this now.
Dylan: You wanna do this now?
Denny: I will kick your ass anytime.
I'm the one with the fresh heart.
Dylan: Oh, you're gonna kick my...
MG: This is the brain thing. This
is the ketamine neurotransmitter, right?
Dylan & Denny: No
MG: 'Cause you'd think if it were
my brain doing this, the first person I'd want to see, no offense, would be...[Doc
the dog jumps on the stretcher with Meredith] Doc! What a good boy!
Hi. Hi, buddy.
Dylan: Meredith This is not your
brain on drugs. This is death. You are dead. You're really freaking dead.
You're dirt nap dead. No more you. Dead...
Denny: Whoa, whoa whoa. Way too
harsh. Remember? We were gonna take it easy. That was not easy.
MG: What?
Denny: Izzie...
MG: You can see her?
Denny: No. Sometimes we'll be in the same place at exactly the
same time, and I can almost hear her voice. It's like I'm touching her. I like
to believe she knows I'm there. That's all you get. That's it. Moments with the
people you love. And they'll move on, and you'll want them to move on, but
still, Meredith, that is all you get. Moments.
MG: Is this really happening?
Denny: I don't know. This is your afterlife, not mine.
[Meredith is dying]
CY: I just…I can’t. I can’t go back
there. I can’t. I can’t go back there and watch her.
PB: Listen to me. This is about you and the woman
you call your person. And you do know the science here. And if she dies, and
you are sitting here when that happens, I can’t see you coming back from that.
Come and say goodbye to your friend.
Denny: What happened in that water?
MG: I swam, I fought.
Denny: No, you didn't, and you
can't stay here, Meredith.
MG: I don't want to!
Denny: Yeah, you do. It's easier,
but you can't. Because George's Dad died, because Izzie lost me, and Cristina,
when she was nine she was in a car accident with her Father and he bled out
right in front of her while they waited for an ambulance to arrive, and Alex...
MG: Stop!
Denny: They are barely breathing,
this will break them, and none of them deserves that. And this, this is the big
one, so you pay attention. Do you know what kind of miracle it is that Derek is
who he is? Do you know how rare it is that someone like him even exists? He's
still an optimist. He still believes in true love and magic and soul mates.
He's waiting for you, and if you don't come back from this...you will change
who he is.
EG: You shouldn't be here.
MG: Neither should you.
EG: Just keep going. Don't be a damn - [hugs her] You
are - You are *anything* but ordinary, Meredith. Now run. Run!
MG: I was swimming. I was fighting. And then I thought,
just for a second, I thought ‘What’s the point?’ And then I let go. I stopped
fighting.
CY: Did you just say something? Did you just speak? Oh,
Meredith... okay, Mer, I can't understand you. Just try... try again, try again
for me, okay?
[Meredith murmurs
incoherently]
CY: What? I can't... come on, please... please don't be...
[firmly] Your brain works, okay? So all you need to do is form a word.
*Please*.
MG: [long pause] Ouch.
[Meredith very slowly
opens her eyes and tries to focus on Cristina]
CY: [half-laughing, half-crying] Oh... hi!
I'm getting married to Burke! Not that that should be anywhere on your list of
thoughts right now, but just in case you slip it in the hall later... you are
the one person I wanted to tell. [crying] Thank you for not
dying.
Meredith: [voiceover] At
the end of a day like this, a day when so many prayers are answered and so many
aren’t, we take our miracles where we find them. We reach across the gap and
sometimes, against all odds, against all logic, we touch...
Meredith: [voiceover] People
have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their
personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal,
leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry
with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers.
IS: Alex is moving in?! To this house?!
MG: He's taking George's room.
IS: Why?
DS: I was asleep just a minute ago.
IS: Uh! And I was naked - in the bathroom - when Alex
walked in. I'm lucky I didn't come out of the shower to see him peeing all over
the seat.
DS: And we're up.
PB: That's Colin Marlowe.
AK: Like the Marlowe transplant?
PB: Like the greatest thing in
cardiothoracic surgery in a generation. Dr. Marlowe. I'm Preston Burke. I'm a
great admirer of your work, sir. Particularly the...
Colin: Yes, thank you...Would you
excuse me for just a second?
[walks over to Cristina, group of interns
backs away]
Colin: Well, you going to give me a
hug or what?
[hugs Cristina, and squeezes her ass]
Meredith: [voiceover] What's
worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should've
healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They
remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about
what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the
way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over
again.
Meredith: [voiceover] Surgeons
always have a plan. Where to cut, where to clamp, where to stitch. But, even
with the best plans complications can arise, things can go wrong. And suddenly,
you're caught with your pants down.
Meredith: [voiceover] The
thing about plans is they don't take into account the unexpected, so when we're
thrown a curve ball, whether its in the OR or in life, we have to improvise. Of
course, some of us are better at it than others. Some of us just have to move
on to plan B and make the best of it. And sometimes what we want is exactly
what we need. But sometimes, sometimes what we need is a new plan.
Meredith: [voiceover] A
patient's history is as important as their symptoms. It's what helps us decide
if heart burn's a heart attack... if a head ache's a tumor. Sometimes patients
will try to re-write their own histories. They'll claim they don't smoke, or
forget to mention certain drugs... which in surgery can be the kiss of death.
We can ignore it all we want, but our history eventually always comes back to
haunt us.
DS: I came here to be chief, but
Meredith complicates that.
MB: Huh. Well if this turns into an
“either or,” you pick the person you love. End of story. Look, all of this
means nothing if you’re alone.
Meredith: [voiceover] Some people believe that without
history, our lives amount to nothing. At some point we all have to choose: do
we fall back on what we know, or do we step forward to something new? It's hard
not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us... what guides us.
Our history resurfaces time after time after time. So we have to remember
sometimes the most important history is the history we’re making today.
Meredith: [voiceover] As
interns, we know what we want, to become surgeons. And we'll do anything to get
there. Suffer through killer exam, endure one-hundred hour weeks, Stand for
hours on end in operating rooms, you name it, we'll do it.
MG: Talk about divine retribution.
IS: What?
MG: He sleeps with his assistant, a carnivorous fish lodges
itself in his penis, that's instant karma if I ever seen it.
CY: Well, Derek wasn't struck by lightning and neither were
you.
MG: Addison showed up, I had months of pain and
self-loathing, crazy ranting mother and near drowning off the side of the dock.
I mean, it's no fish in my hoo-hoo, but it's certainly not an easy ride.
CY: You know I cheated on my boyfriends and I'm fine. I
mean am I the only one?
DS: I'm fine.
MG: Are we fine?
DS: Sure
MG: Then why are you still staring
at the ceiling?
DS: I don't know, it's just, that
day, you came out of the water. I spent the scariest hour of my life, trying to
breathe for you. I love you, and I want you, but I don't know what to...you
didn't swim. You didn't swim and you know how to. And I don't know if I can...
I don't know if I wanna keep trying to breathe for you.
[pause]
MG: I should go. I'll go.
Meredith: [voiceover] Too often, the thing you want most is
the one thing you can’t have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out.
Desire can wreck your life. And as tough as wanting something can be, the
people who suffer the most are those who don’t know what they want.
Meredith: [voiceover]The dream is this - that we'll finally be
happy when we reach our goals: find the guy, finish our internship, that's the
dream. Then we get there. And if we're human, we immediately start dreaming of
something else. Because, if this is the dream, then we'd like to wake up. Now,
please!
"You're using fart logic!" - AM
CY: [mumbles
something]
CT: Excuse me?
CY [forced]:
Bridesmaids... my mother and Burke's mother have been talking on the phone and
now, they are here, with me.
CY's mom: To plan the wedding.
PB's mom: Cristina led us to
believe that you´re friends.
[Callie laughs but quickly realizes that they
are serious]
CT: ...Okay, I guess.
CT: Okay. I rescheduled an ACL
repair, but I want to be clear: I will not be wearing pink or baby blue. I do
not do flowers in my hair.
And I will never be seen with a bow on my ass, okay?
And I will never be seen with a bow on my ass, okay?
CY: See? She's got the right
attitude.
Meredith: [voiceover] At some point maybe we accept the
dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves that reality is better. We
convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But, the strongest
of us, the most determined of us, holds on to the dream or we find ourselves
faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We wake to find ourselves,
against all odds, feeling hopeful. And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face
of everything, in the face of life the true dream is being able to dream at
all.
Meredith: [voiceover] A surgeon's education never ends.
Every patient, every symptom, every operation...is a test. A chance for us to
demonstrate how much we know. And how much more we have to learn.
MG: You're not my father.
RW: I know that.
[They exchange a look, then he pulls her into
a hug. Relieved, she sinks in his arms and starts to cry]
RW: I know.
Richard: [voiceover] Being chief is about responsibility.
Every single surgical patient in a hospital is your patient. Whether you're the
one who cut them open or not. The scalpel stopped with these. You need to be
able to look at her family. And to tell them your team did everything they
could to save someones job. The husband, the wife, you get caught up. Taking
care about the people's families. And responsibility... it makes you... you
take care of the people's families. And you sacrifice your own.
PB: Cristina; I could promise to
hold you, and to cherish you. I could promise to be there in sickness and in
health. I could say 'til death do us part, but I won't. Those vows are for
optimistic couples, the ones full of hope. And I do not stand here on my
wedding day optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic, I am not. I am
sure. I am steady. And I know I am a heart man, take them apart, put them back
together. I hold them in my hands. I am a heart man. So this, I am sure. You
are my partner, my lover, my very best friend. My heart, my heart, beats for you. And on this day, the day of
our wedding, I promise you this. I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of
your hands. I promise you, me.
[silence]
AM: I think I speak for every woman
here when I say... dump her. Dump Yang and marry me.
MG: Stop whining. This is your
wedding day. You will go down that aisle. You will get married! If I have to
kick your ass, every step by the way to get you there. You will walk down the
aisle and you will get married. Do you hear me Cristina? We need this. We need
you to get your happy ending.
CY: Okay, I'm ready.
CY: I am wearing the dress. I'm ready.
And, and maybe I didn't want to before. But I want to now. I really think I
want this.
PB: I really wish you didn’t think. I wish
that you knew.
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